幽默英语短句二十句

幽默英语短句二十句

1， Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。

2， Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。

3， Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

海豚可聪明了，你晓得不？只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。

4， Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。

5， It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.

跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪！“那才是死了。

6， Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘

7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。

8, If at first you don’t succeed, try again … unless you fail at skydiving.

如果一次不成功，别放弃，再试一次、、、、、除非你在跳伞。

9， A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

你赶不上的巴士永远比你赶上的巴士跑得快两倍。

10， It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why do we worry, and what is there to worry about?

据说我们所担心的事90%都不会发生，而剩下的10%又完全可以解决。所以，我们为什么要担心呢？又有什么值得担心的呢？

11， I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they’ll forget my number.

我的“心灵电话”是为祥和、健康和博爱而设。每当怀疑、焦虑和恐惧试图和我联系时，电话总是在占线，所以很快它们就忘了我的号码

12, If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.

如果你看到麻烦从路上向你走来，有一点可以确定，在触到你以前，它们十有八九会滚进路边的沟。

13， Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable .

真正的困难是可以克服的，想象出来的困难时难以征服的

14， If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.

如果你要问我长寿最关键的秘诀是什么，我会说一定要避免忧虑、焦虑和紧张。如果你不问我，我也会这么说。

15， It is the trouble that never comes that causes the ioss of sleep.

让我们失眠的总是那些从不会发生的麻烦。

16， Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it. But don’t worry. Worry never fixes anything.

每天担心一点点，一生便会失去很多年。如果有问题，尽快去解决。但不要担心，担心不能解决问题。

17， Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey!

不要担心路不平，去为精彩旅途而欢庆。

Definition of Love 诠释爱情

1) Love is a beautiful dream. 爱是一场美梦。

2) Love is sweet torment. 爱是一种甜蜜的痛苦。

3) Love is a great teacher. 爱是以为伟大的导师。

4) Love is the touchstone of virtue. 爱情是美德的试金石。

5) Love is the sweetest joy and the wildest woe. 爱情是最甜蜜的幸福，最剧烈的悲痛。

6) Love is a fool who knows not what he is saying. 爱情是一个自己不知所言的傻瓜。

7) Love is an appetite of generation by the mediation of beauty. 爱情是一种以美做媒介的繁衍欲望。

8) Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world into reality. 爱情是一种吧幻想世界变成现实的尝试。

9) Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. 爱情是一幅大自然提供画布，想象力作笔的风景画。

10) Love is not two people gazing into each other’s eyes, but rather two people looking outward in the same direction.爱不是你看我，我看你，而是两个人朝同一个方向往外看。

婚前“三思而后行”

1) Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of oins.

婚姻中三分是爱，七分是宽恕。

2) Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

婚前睁大眼睛，婚后睁一只眼闭一只眼。

3） It’s not beauty, but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

姑娘不是靠美貌，而是靠美德才能守住丈夫。

4） Love is an ideal things, but marriages a real thing ; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

爱情是理想的，而婚姻是现实的；如果将理想和现实混淆，则会受到惩罚。

5） We should measure affection, not like youngsters by the ardor of its passion, but by its strength and constancy.

我们应该以力量和持久来衡量爱情，不应像年轻人那样只注重狂热的激情。

6) There are six requisites in every happy marriage. The first is faith and the remaining five are confidence.

幸福的婚姻有六个条件，第一个是“忠贞”，其余五个是“信任”。

7）Tell me , dear, why can I pierce any target I well, but not my love’s heart?

告诉我，亲爱的，为什么我可以穿透任何我想要穿透的目标，却不能穿透我爱人的心。

8） You gave me the key to your heart, my love ;Then why do you make me knock?

你给了我开启心扉的钥匙，我的至爱；那为什么还要我敲门呢？

9) I thank God for giving you to me as my wife. You are truly are truly a precious gift. From across the miles I think of you and long to hold you in my arms. You are my love and my life.

感谢上帝吧你许给我为妻。你是真正宝贵的礼物。千里之外我思恋你，渴望拥你入怀。我的爱人，你就是我的生命。

乔布斯的情书

We didn’t know much about each other 20 years ago. We were guided by our intuition; you swept me off my feet. It was snowing when we got married at the Ahwahnee. Years passed, kids come, good times, hard times, but never bad times. Our love and respect has endured and grown. We’ve been through so mach together and here we are right back where we started 20 years joys, sufferings, secrets and wonders and we’ve still here together. My feet have never returned to the ground 。

20年前虽相知不多，但心有灵犀，你让我为之倾倒。当步入婚姻殿堂，啊布尼雪花飞舞，似为我们庆祝。转眼间，生儿添女，有苦有乐，但无怨无悔。平日相敬如宾，我们的爱日久弥新。一切之后，重温20年前故地，虽满脸皱纹，心历沧桑，但你我都更为成熟睿智。如今已然明白了生活中的苦乐、真谛与奇妙，我们已然相濡以沫，携手同行。我也一直漫步在爱的云端，不想坠落尘寰。

面试自我介绍

My name is Jessie. I am a graduate of Nanjing University. I majored in English Literature. As an English major, I had ample opportunity to practice and master spoken English. I love this language and hope to find a job in which I can put my English to good use.

Also, I’ve studied economics and business administration. I am confident and I feel I can contribute many ideas to your company. I have experience from a previous internship with a foreign company, where I gained valuable insight and work-related skills that would benefit you. I have firsthand knowledge about the inner workings of a trade company, and I think it would be a great asset to you and your staff.

I really would enjoy working with you here, and hope you consider me for the position.

我叫杰西，毕业于南京大学，主修英语文学。作为英语专业的学生，我们有很多机会去练习并掌握英语口语。我很喜欢这门语言，并希望可以找到一份能充分运用英语的工作。

同时，我也修过经济及企业管理的课程。我很有信心，我认为能为贵公司贡献很多想法，我以前在一家外企实习过，在那儿我获得了一些宝贵的经验和工作技巧，相信会对贵公司有所贡献。我对贸易公司的内部工作方式有直接的了解，我认为我将成为贵公司有用的人才。

我将非常乐意为贵公司工作，希望你能为我提供这个职位。

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