10分钟演讲稿，TED
WhenIwas20,Ihadmyveryfirstpsychotherapyclient.Atthattime,Iwasavolunteerinthepsychologicalconsultationroomofourwasa21-year-oldgirlnamedAlex.Alexwalkedintotheroomandtoldmeshewastheretotalkaboutguyproblems.whenIheardthis,Iwassorelieved.Igotatwentysomethingwhowantedtotalkaboutboys.ThisIthoughtIcouldIdidn'thandleit.WiththefunnystoriesthatAlexwouldbring,itwaseasyformejusttonodmyheadwhilewekickedthecandowntheroad.\new20,\Alexwouldsay,andasfarasIcouldtell,shewasright.Workhappenedlater,marriagehappenedlater,kidshappenedlater,evendeathhappenedlater.TwentysomethingslikeAlexandIhadnothingbutbeforelong,mysupervisorpushedmetopushAlexaboutherlife.Ipushedsaid,\marrytheguy.\mightmarrythenextone.\20.Yes,peoplesettledownlaterthantheyusedto,butthatdidn'tmakeAlex's20sadevelopmentaldowntime.ThatmadeAlex's20sa
developmentalsweetspot,andweweresittingthere
blowingit.ThatwaswhenIrealizedthatthissortofneglectwasarealproblem,andithadrealconsequences,
notjustforAlexandherlovelifebutforthecareersandthefamiliesandthefuturesoftwentysomethingseverywhere.
We'retalkingabout15percentofthepopulation,or100percentifyouconsiderthatnoone'sgettingthroughadulthoodwithoutgoingthroughtheir20sfocusontwentysomethingsbecauseIbelievethateverysingleoneofthosetwentysomethingsdeservestoknowthatclaimingyour20sisoneofthesimplest,yetmosttransformativethingsyoucandoforwork,forlove,foryourhappiness,maybeevenfortheisnotmyopinion.Thesearethefacts.Weknowthat80percentoflife'smostdefiningmomentstakeplacebyage35.Thatmeansthateightoutof10ofthedecisionsandexperiencesand\
yourlifewhatitiswillhavehappenedbyyourknowthatthefirst10yearsofacareerhasan
exponentialimpactonhowmuchmoneyyou'regoingtoearn.Weknowthatthebraincapsoffitssecondandlastgrowthspurtinyour20sasitrewiresitselffor
adulthood,whichmeanswhateveritisyouwanttochangeaboutyourself,nowisthetimetochangeit.Your20sarethetimetoeducateyourselfaboutyourbodyandyour'satimewhenyourordinary,day-to-daylifehasaninordinateimpactonwhoyouwillbexxe.LeonardBernsteinsaidthattoachievegreatthings,youneedaplanandnotquiteenoughtime.Sowhatdoyouthinkhappenswhenyoupatatwentysomethingontheheadandyousay,\have10extrayearstostartyourlife\Nothinghappens.Youhaverobbedthatpersonofhisurgencyandambition,andabsolutelynothinghappens.Andtheneveryday,smart,interesting
twentysomethingslikeyousaythingslikethis:\knowmyboyfriend'snogoodforme,butthisrelationshipdoesn'tcount.I'mjustkillingtime.\I'llbefine.\toshowformyself.IhadabetterrésuméthedayafterIgraduatedfromcollege.\startstosoundlikethis:\aroundandhavingfun,butthensometimearound30it
waslikethemusicturnedoffandeverybodystartedsittingdown.Ididn'twanttobetheonlyoneleftstandingup,sosometimesIthinkImarriedmyhusbandbecausehewastheclosestchairtomeat30.\nowthat
soundsalittleflip,butmakenomistake,thestakesareveryhigh.
Whenalothasbeenpushedtoyour30s,thereisenormousthirtysomethingpressuretojump-startacareer,pickacity,partnerup,andhaveoneortwokidsinamuchshorterperiodofmidlifecrisisisn'tbuyingacar.It'srealizingyoucan'thavethatcareeryounowwant.It'srealizingyoucan'thavethatchildyounowwant,oryoucan'tgiveyourchildasibling.Toomanythirtysomethingsand
fortysomethingslookatthemselvesandsayabouttheir20s,\
Iwanttochangewhattwentysomethingsaredoingandtherearethreethingsthateverytwentysomething,
maleorfemale,deservesto,forgetabouthavinganidentitycrisisandgetsomeidentitycapital.Byget
identitycapital,Imeandosomethingthataddsvaluetowhoyouare.Dosomethingthat'saninvestmentinwhoyoumightwanttobenext.Ididn'tknowthefutureofyourcareer,andnooneknowsthefuture,butIdoknowthis:Identitycapitalbegetsidentitycapital.Sonowisthetimeforthatcross-countryjob,that
internship,thatstartupyouwanttotry.I'mnotdiscountingtwentysomethingexplorationhere,
