精选趣味英语小故事

精选趣味英语小故事

1、Be Much Worse

Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

可能更糟

警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢？

男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那样情况就更糟了！

2、THE FIRST TIME

Patient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.

Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.

第一次

病人：我很害怕，这是我第一次动手术。

外科医生：我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。

3、HIS FAULT

Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.

Mother: How did he do it?

Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.

他的错

比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。

妈妈：他怎么打的？

比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。

4、TELEMARKETER

I answered the phone one evening and quickly realized the voice on the other end belonged to a telemarketer.

"Good evening," he said, "may I speak with Leah Jonason?"

"She is a baby, " I replied.

"All right," said the caller, "I'll try again later."

电话推销员

一天晚上我接了一个电话，对方的声音使我很快意识到他是个电话推销员。

“晚上好，”他说，“我想和利厄乔纳森说话。”

“她是个婴儿，”我回答说。

“没关系，”他说，“我以后再打。”

5、MODERN LIFE

Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.

"We've been married fifteen years," one woman said, "and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the other. "Does it bother you?"

"Why should it bother me?" her friend replied. "if he can't only stand his own cooking?"

现代生活

两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。

“我们结婚十五年了，”一个妇女说道，“每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。”

“真可恶！”另一个惊呼道。“难道你不烦吗？”

“我烦什么？”她的朋友答道。“他不过是忍受不了自己的烹调技术。”

6、AN ENERGETIC WIFE

Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?

Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.

Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?

Husband: I... I happened to be inside the coat.

精力旺盛的妻子

邻居：昨天夜里我听见你家屋前有很大的声音，你们出了什么事吗？

丈夫：没什么。我的妻子有点不高兴，把我的大衣给扔到窗外去了。

邻居：你的大衣？扔掉大衣怎么会有那么大的声音？

丈夫：我......我恰好也在大衣里面。

7、GOOD ADVICE

The portly sales manager was getting ready to leave his doctor's office after a routine examination. "Here," said the doctor, "follow this diet, and I want to see three-fourths of you back here for a check-up in three months."

忠告

臃肿的销售经理做过常规体检后，正要离开大夫的诊室。“听着，”大夫说，“遵守这个食谱，我希望3个月后再来这儿体检时能见到四分之三的你。”

8、TWO HEARTS BEATING

Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?

Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.

Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.

两颗心脏在跳动

护士：手术后你感觉怎样？

病人：十分好，只是我能感觉到我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。

护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处寻找他的手表。

9、SHE'D RATHER BUY A GIFT

While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey." Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."

她宁愿买一件礼物

旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。"没关系，"他说，"我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺。"妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，"我宁愿给你买一件礼物。"

10、Friend for Dinner

"Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel ** cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

请朋友吃饭

　　“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”

　　“什么？你疯了吗？我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”

　　“这些我全都知道。”

　　“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭？”

　　“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”

本文来源：https://www.2haoxitong.net/k/doc/989d7da6453610661fd9f44d.html